For those of you who watched the Miami Heat game a couple nights ago, you probably saw Joakim Noah and Taj Gibson get ejected. CBS Sports has the video if you want to try to read Gibson’s lips (Hint it rhymes with “duck”) but what I really want to do is dissect the picture that came from the video:

Fly birdy fly! Via
Fly birdy fly! Via

What we’ve got here appears to be a genetically clone cougar. You can almost see directly where the botox needles are inserted into her face each year. We see her flipping an almost perfect bird, roughly six inches from Noah’s face. Notice Noah is not looking, for if he would he’d see the worst nose job since Michael Jackson. Now look upwards towards her (4th?) husband. His white polo screams rich douchebag, but I’m pretty sure Noah can thank him for holding back the beast he’s married to. My favorite part of the picture has to be the security guard. He’s standing less than a foot away and based on his facial expression you’d think he was watching his dog get euthanized. C’mon dude, I understand your life sucks but intervene! I understand players are supposed to take flak from the crowd but this just abusive, no one wants a finger in the face like that! Step it up Miami!

Questions? Concerns? Do you know what lab this freak show escaped from? Let me know

-El Perro Grande