Today in the mail, I received my (what seems to be my weekly), Sports Illustrated magazine. Naturally, I just flip through all the pictures and skip the articles. This one image caught my attention and made me look at it for over a couple seconds. The image, happens to be a shot of Tiger teeing off on the final round of the Players. However, my focal point isn’t so much Tiger, as it is the large and looming crowd behind him. I love crowd shots, I just love searching through them looking for the funniest faces, the hottest chicks, the dumbest signs etc,. It’s like playing Where’s Waldo, but a hell of a lot easier.

Original Sports Illustrated Image:

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In any case, I found a couple of gems scattered throughout this image and here they are:

 

First and foremost, this guys mustache is absolutely on point. It’s safe to say, this fella is a pro when it comes to handing out mustache rides.

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Now this girl, she clearly has the biggest wedgie ever seen at a professional golf event. Look at that face. That’s a “Oh shit moment” if I have ever seen one.

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Now we have this gentleman, who is sporting two of the biggest sweat stains known to man. Here we have the classic Pit Stains (presumably two, but only one is visible) and then we have a stomach gut stain? The stomach gut stain, might be the biggest underdog when it comes to sweat stains, so what showing by this one. Also, it should be mentioned, that I am pretty sure he is wearing a polyester golf shirt, which makes said stains all the more impressive.Untitled.001

 

I have finally found the elusive culprits that yell out, “Get in the Hole” after every single shot someone takes. And I am not stereotyping, but both of them fit the description I make in my brain to a tee, every time I hear “Get in the Hole”.

Asshole #1 (This guys style should also be noted)

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Asshole #2

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Look at these two jabroni’s. Who do they think they are? USGA rule #783.65 Article 3, Statue 22.1 clearly states cellphones are not permitted on the golf course. Okay, so I made that rule up, but I know from first hand marshaling training and experience, cell phones are not permitted in anyway on the course. Send these two to Guantanamo¬†for treason.

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Lastly,

An umbrella? Are you serious with this shit? Such a chick move if I have ever seen one. Umbrella people are the absolute worst people out there, especially the sunny day umbrella people. If you aren’t getting your view completely obstructed, you are getting poked in the eyeball with its end points. Leave the umbrella at home toots.

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-Gonzo

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