The news has been running rampant with this whole feel good news story this past weekend. Supposedly, Bernando LaPallo here, a lifetime New York Yankees fan, is claiming to be 111 years old.

New York Daily News

New York Daily News

I called bullshit, from the instant I saw this. There is not a chance in Hell that he is 111. In fact, in my honest blogger opinion, he is not a day older than 83. Like who is he trying to kid here, seriously? My grandfather, who is only 85, looks more frail and decrepit than Mr. LaPallo here. I know age is different, blah, blah blah, genes, blah blah blah and all this other scientific bullshit. Listen, I am not age expert, I will admit that, but I can guarantee that he is not 111 years old. 100% positive.

Today, we got more info on Bernando LaPallo and we now have some conflicting information regarding his true age. Yup, you heard right:

The Arizona resident has no way to prove his age and a consultant with Guiness World Records tells the Associated Press that verified age claim records show LaPollo was born in 1910, not 1901. That would make him 102 or 103.

So there you have it! It’s a damn hoax. Sure it’s only a 9 years difference, but 9 years when you are already knocking on Heaven’s door, is a huge difference. I see you Bernando, I see you. You can’t lie, when Gonzo the Watchdog is around.

Apparently, he claims to have met Babe Ruth, before the legend’s major league debut and that he attended Yankees games when they were known as the Highlanders and played at Hilltop Park.

^^Probably also a lie, with a little Wikipedia research, I could have made a statement like that.

Mr. LaPallo also said this about the age allegations:

LaPallo told the AP on Sunday that many people doubt him because he’s in such good condition.

“It is hard to believe,” he said by telephone. “And because I can pass for 65 or 70, people say it’s impossible.”

LaPallo’s granddaughter said his birthdate was incorrectly written down as 1910 instead of 1901 at a Social Security office in Florida during the mid-1930s. Ekayani Chamberlin, who runs a fitness Web site with her grandfather and promotes his lectures on aging, says the family doesn’t have an official record of his birth in Brazil.

Leave it up to Florida, to fuck up the birth certificate. I hate my state. So incompetent when it matters the most.

You know what! I figured it out! This is not Bernando LaPallo, nope it’s not. This is actually Al Roker. Or Al Roker’s dad. Only solution that makes a lick if sense. Mystery Solved!

Bernando-LaPollo

Bernando LaPallo aka Al Roker

AlRoker_600-400-0-2-02-12

Al Roker aka Bernando LaPallo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am having some issues with the actual name of Bernando LaPallo too, specifically his last name. Yahoo news had it at “LaPollo”, which is straight batshit crazy, because The Chicken, makes zero sense for a last name. So I think I am right with “LaPallo”, plus other more credible news agencies back my claim.

-Gonzo

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