Here is what it says for all of you, who are unable to read 6pt font:

Hey Hawks fans, I have a pair of tickets for game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals on Wednesday at the UC. Got them from a client at the investment firm where I work. I cant make the game and I can’t sell the tickets without getting a potential fine from the SEC. Shitty, I know. 
No offense, I make a ton of money anyway. Sorry.

Anybody want these tickets? No cost, just service or item needed. I am single guy living the life. Do you have enough creativity to take these tickets off my hands? Make a video, send me an offer to meet, whatever works. Do not be shy. Let me know ASAP. Best offer gets the tickets. And keep in mind, I go cage diving with sharks, I am not impressed easily. 
Email me your offer.

First of all, throwing out how much money you have and that it’s a “ton” is dick move, I have zero respect for people that brag about their money. That aside, 4th row behind the nights for the NHL Stanley Cup Finals, for essentially free, is an absolute goldmine. I mean, sure he just wants to see a little skin or a video perhaps, can’t hate him for trying. That said, you know there is going to be plenty of females out there submitting their own pictures and videos for that chance to get these amazing tickets. My only question is, do you have to go to this guys house to collect them? Rich or not, having to go to this guys house would be a deal breaker. Last thing I want is some Disturbia shit all up in my face, when I just want to see the Hawks.

And for the record I sent him a nice little video of me eating goldfish in the shower. No way he can refuse that, no way. If he replies, you’ll see it first, here at BWsports. Now go follow us on Twitta.