Archive for November, 2013

So with the start of the new PGA tour season coming around, I wanted to take the time to tell you about a couple players that you should keep your eye on over the season.

Jordan Speith- This guy is one of my favorite golfers, he burst onto the scene last year when he tied for second at the Purto Rico Open in March.  He followed up that with some top tens to earn special temporary member status on the PGA tour.  Might I add while doing this he was only 19.  Shit when I was 19 I barley knew what I was gonna eat for breakfast and this dude is out there not just playing on the PGA tour but competing.  His big moment came when he won the John Deere Classic in a 3 way sudden death playoff.  Beating Zach Johnson and David Hearn.  He was the first teenage winner in 82 years, this win also got him full status on the PGA tour.  No he didn’t not play well in any majors last year but I have a good feeling about what is to come for this young lad.

Henrik Stenson-  No he is not a player that is any means under the radar, but honestly I never heard a lot of talk about him.  Even though he was the first player ever to win the European tour’s race to dubai and also the Fedex cup in the same year.  Yes I know Luke Donald had a year like that and then proceeded to play like absolute poop the next year.  But this guy is different, he has the confidence and the skill to win many tournaments next year. I will even go as far as saying he will win a major no doubt.


-The Black Pearl





The city of San Francisco teamed up with over 11,000 Make-A-Wish volunteers to make a 5-year-old’s superhero dreams come true. Miles aka Batman, a 5-year-old whose leukemia is currently in remission, is spending all of Friday dressed as Batman fighting crimes in his own personal “Gotham City.”

Awesome. Just awesome, no other words to really describe this. Kudos to the City of San Francisco and to all of those involved to make this kids dream come true.

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#SFBatKid saves the day!

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Since ESPN hasn’t even talked about hockey all this morning (when do they ever), I have taken it upon myself to step up to the plate. A true American hero if you will.

Anyhow, how badass is Kari Lehtonen here? This is like some King Tutankhamun shit. This is the modern day equivalent of when you used to play goalie in soccer way back in the day and the ball never made it passed half to you and you would just sit criss-cross applesauce style in the net and pick daisies and cloverleafs like a boss. Essentially the same thing, expect here Kari is making 7 figures to do it. Tomato, tomahto really.


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Hey MJ. Watch the damn elbow would you. Just because you are the greatest basketball player to ever play the game, doesn’t mean you can simply go out there all willy nilly and be leaning ‘bows all over the table like that. Totally unprofessional.

That out of the way, there are only a couple of things I hate when idiots play pong, elbows for guys is numero uno!

1) Guys elbows over the table. Girls never hit more than two shots a game, so not to worried about them.

2) People who call it beirut. Get out of my face with that. It’s called Beer Pong.

3) People who don’t play with actual beer in their cups. This has been an ever so increasing event, playing with actual booze in the cups is what makes the game fun, makes it inciting. When you sink a cup or get balls back and no one takes a drink it’s the most demoralizing thing ever. So respect to MJ in that department.

That’s it, you follow those simple rules and we will get along just fine.

And for the record, I’m an all lob guy, the LBJ of pong. I never bounce, I don’t want to rely on my opponents incompetence to win games, I need the ball in my court not theirs.


bacon(CNN) — A painting by artist Francis Bacon sold for $142,405,000 on Tuesday, breaking the record as the most expensive piece of art ever auctioned, according to a statement from the auction house.

“Three Studies of Lucian Freud” was sold after six minutes of bidding in the room and on the phone at Christie’s in New York City, according to spokeswoman Elizabeth Van Bergen.

Painted in 1969, it is known as one of Bacon’s most iconic works, as it features Lucian Freud at the apex of his relationship with Bacon, according to the auction house’s statement.

$142 million dollar for this thing?! No way! No way! How in the world is this even remotely close to 142 million dollars, it’s not. So this Bacon fella takes some PCP or LSD or whatever the hot drug on the streets in the late 60’s was and paints a horse man in a trifecta and adds some lines and boom 142 million? For sure not.

I just can’t wrap my head around these crazy art lunatics. Like who decides that this specific painting is worth so much money? Why this one over say my spin art from 10 years ago? I’m not saying I’m an artist, but I can for sure paint something more unique than this horseman chair painting.

In fact look at this awesome water painting color I did not even a year ago;


How beautiful and downright charming is this landscape masterpiece of mine? High in emotion with the dark rolling clouds coming in hot. One lone pin tree amongst the other seasonal dying trees symbolizes the strength and fortitude and resilience of human life (I just made that up). My reflection painting game is so on point, check. The barn shadows? A+. Just utilizing anything and everything I learned from the forced art classes I had to take in elementary school.

So you going to tell me right to my face that this work of art isn’t worth more than 142 million? That’s just blasphemous a utter insult to my human existence.



Boom! Straight cuckold city from this fan. Might be the GOAT when it comes to fan. Just a stone cold face. Gotta keep your head on a swivel if you are gonna get romrodded into the stands at the United Center. It’s like being throwing into a pack of hyenas.

P.S. Only a girl would dump their expensive 12oz beer on a player.


Your Woman Crush Wednesday this week is Carrie Underwood. Sure she doesn’t play sports or report them, but she is a drop dead gorgeous and a Twitter follower put in the request. We are for the people, by the people.

Carrie Underwood:

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Tiger Woods drives from Asia to Europe

Well isn’t this a spectacle. Does Tiger Woods own life, or does Tiger Woods own life? I mean few men in this world can just shut down one side of a trans-continental bridge, Tiger Woods is one of them. Incredible.

Couple things though. How about that hurricane gusts of wind?! What’s that like 70mph? 80? (Judging wind speed isn’t my strong point). Amazing his shot went straight, you put me out there and it hits one of the cars on the opposing side.

Imagine if he hit a car! Wouldn’t that be a sight to behold. Some angry little Asian /Turkish fella chasing down a black man in hurricane force winds. Scene sounds a little familiar, sans racial groups.


So I am here to finally put to rest the debate of who has the best swing on tour.  I am not talking about just mechanics either, but just a swing you can put on replay.


Number 3. Tiger woods


I know there are many different swings that we can talk about for tiger but no matter what swing it is when it is working for him it is one of the best swings on tour.

So this is his latest swing which as of last year finally came around where he can trust it.

This is a good video of his swing changed from his early years to 2011.


Number 2. Justin Rose

This swing is one of the most simplest and smoothest swings ever.  Honestly I am surprised he hasn’t won a lot tournaments with this swing.  

Just so silky smooth.

Number 1. Freddy Couples

If it wasn’t obvious who was number one when I started this blog, you obviously don’t know anything about golf.  This swing has never changed throughout the years and honestly thank god, because honestly its smoother than….. than…… I don’t know just think of the smoothest thing ever and double that.


P.S Jim Furyk has the worst swing to watch on tour, it is so bad to the point where it makes me mad.

-The Black Pearl


Fuck this robot and his perfect winning rate. Rock, paper, scissors (RPS) is my game, hell I practically reinvented it in 2nd grade with shit like astroids and lightning and volcanos, I digress. In any case, this robot isn’t winning anything, only thing this robot is doing is reacting, anyone can react. RPS is more about ones reaction rate, it’s all about pure talent. I’m simply good at RPS, that’s not something science and robotics can take away from me, it’s the only thing I have left.

So you little bastard robot, I formally challenge you to a duel!

Winner, winner chicken dinner. Advantage…Gonzo. Did I do it again, or did I do it again.