Category: Beyond The Arc


Okay so this video was breaking the inter webs this past week, America in a uproar that Rodman was singing Happy Birthday to little baby face Kimmy Jong. Personally, it doesn’t bother me, but I will say watching this was awkward as fuck. I felt like at any moment, Baby Face was gonna sic his little minions on me for not clapping or something along those lines.

That aside, there were a couple of highlights, a couple of North Korea Top 4 plays if you will:

4) Their arena or auditorium or whatever they call it, is kinda of awesome and cool looking. Aside from the fact that it reeks of dictatorship, communism and rigorously ordered, it’s pretty cool.

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 4.01.57 PM

3) I love all of the American just clapping along cue with everyone else. Like you know damn well they don’t want to clap for Baby Face, but you also know that they are thinking; “if I don’t clap, I’m being sent out to the dogs.” Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 4.02.45 PM

2) Rodman having both first and last name on his jersey his such a power move. Just fighting for that #1 spot on the power move rankings with Kimmy Jong-Un, however, Baby Face wins in a landslide.Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 4.03.23 PM

1)Kim1.001And several people from this crowd were without a doubt brought out back at the end of the game and executed, mainly;

#1: For simply being to fat and not up to snuff on the dress code. Hey bro, didn’t you know North Korea is in poverty and malnourish up to their eyeballs? You can’t be seen looking like the Asian Pillsbury doughboy in public like that. Now the American’s might not send food to your dear leader.

#2: He was probably executed simply for picking his nose during Baby Faces birthday song. How dare you pick your nose during that song.

#3a/b: Not sure if these two were actually executed, but if we learned one thing, that’s turtlenecks are still in style in North Korea. Buncha turtleneck savages over there in NK.

-Gonzo

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bball1 bball2 bball3Who the fuck is Champion Baptist College and why are they allowed to play basketball? I did some quick research and by research I mean I quickly Googled “Champion Baptist College wiki” and no joke their Wikipedia page was created today (December 31st, 2013) and apparently the “college” only has 250 students? My high school had more kids than that for crying out loud. Is there a Division 33 in the NCAA? Because I’m 100% sure Campion here should be in that division.

Realtalk here for a moment. A majority of us here have rode pine in high school/college athletics, been there done that, but give me a break with this here. No way would I want to play for a team that loses by an average of 73 points each game (Yes I did the math). Fuck that noise. I would rather sit in the library all day than play for this team. Mind boggling that they even have team to begin with.

-Gonzo

maskWhat the actual fuck!?! I don’t even know what is going on here. Like is this supposed to be a face mask? Or some weird jaw supporting wrap? Is it made out of tin foil? So many questions, so little answers. To be honest, the only thing that it resembles in my messed up head, is some kinky BDSM torture contraption.

Actually it reminded me of this Ghostbusters scene:
ghostbusters-rick-moranis_l1

-Gonzo

mj-356x640 Screen-Shot-2013-11-12-at-11.21.51-PM-480x332 Screen-Shot-2013-11-12-at-11.22.00-PM-480x488 Screen-Shot-2013-11-12-at-11.22.08-PM-480x476

Hey MJ. Watch the damn elbow would you. Just because you are the greatest basketball player to ever play the game, doesn’t mean you can simply go out there all willy nilly and be leaning ‘bows all over the table like that. Totally unprofessional.

That out of the way, there are only a couple of things I hate when idiots play pong, elbows for guys is numero uno!

1) Guys elbows over the table. Girls never hit more than two shots a game, so not to worried about them.

2) People who call it beirut. Get out of my face with that. It’s called Beer Pong.

3) People who don’t play with actual beer in their cups. This has been an ever so increasing event, playing with actual booze in the cups is what makes the game fun, makes it inciting. When you sink a cup or get balls back and no one takes a drink it’s the most demoralizing thing ever. So respect to MJ in that department.

That’s it, you follow those simple rules and we will get along just fine.

And for the record, I’m an all lob guy, the LBJ of pong. I never bounce, I don’t want to rely on my opponents incompetence to win games, I need the ball in my court not theirs.

-Gonzo

I’m hungover, you might be hungover, it’s a Saturday morning. So what better way to start your day by watching what might be one of the greatest commercials of all time.  Chills city.

Have a good weekend everybody.

-Gonzo

Sad news to report to you today, sad news indeed. Listen, no one likes to be the bearer of bad news, especially not me, but someone has to do it.

Blue II, Butler U’s Live Mascot passed away peacefully over the Labor Day weekend at the age of 9. So while you were out partying and celebrating Labor Unions or whatever, we lost a hero, a true American hero.

RIP Blue:

bilde pg2_g_blueII01_576P.S: This is why dogs are better than cats, dogs get tribute videos and go out on top like kings, cats are forgotten 10 seconds after they die. Dogs>cats

-Gonzo

aDaBC4O

Jimmy Crickets!! Get a load of these warlocks. I honestly think I just threw up a little bit.

There are a lot of things in life that give the the night scaries, most of them being horror movies, such as The Conjuring , well safe to say that little pinky toe will forever haunt my dreams.

You know how for fat people it’s technically illegal to go topless while swimming and whatnot, well it should be illegal and punishable to the maximum extent of the law, for LeBron to go shoeless ever again. In fact, those little creatures should never see the light of day again.

Honestly, this is what my dream is going to be like, just Jabba the Hutt straight pimpin on LBJ’s toeline.

jabba-the-hutt

P.S. Over/Under on how long ESPN will discuss this? 28 hours, and I’m obviously hammering the over.

-Gonzo

I don’t want to be that guy, but a half court shot is a piece of cake. Any mildly athletic person, will make a half court shot 8 times out of 10*.

But that’s not even the main point of this blog. Remember when making full court shots got you these brand new cars or some oversized check for some insane amount of money? Well I’m pretty sure this dude just got ripped off. Not saying a years free tuition is a bad thing, but I would gladly favor a new car or some cold hard cash over tuition money. Call me crazy, but I like to have my reward in my hands, or my bank account, not some promise of free tuition.

*okay 3 times out of 10

-Gonzo

Miami Heat “Fans”

The social media world is abuzz about how the Heat’s “fans”, using the word “fans” as liberally as possibly, left early, in last nights Spurs/Heat game thinking it was over, when the Heat were down by 2.

If we are being truly honest here, which I am, the Miami Heat have THE worse fan base in all of sports. I beg you to find a team, whose fan base even competes with the Heat’s, you can’t. If you look in the dictionary, at Bandwagoner; Heat fans is the definition. Despicable.

And then they wanted to be let back in, once the game was tied and going into OT, after Ray Allen’s deep 3 to tie it

https://twitter.com/VictorOquendo/statuses/347200364774313984

Heat Fans, so hot right now, Heat Fans

Screen-Shot-2013-06-19-at-7.28.48-AMScreen-Shot-2013-06-19-at-7.37.42-AMjustin-bieber-heat-pacers-game-7-4 Screen-Shot-2013-06-19-at-6.20.14-AM-480x381

-Gonzo

spursrestFT-480x360Are you shitting me ESPN? Like no way this can be a legitimate question. For Jimmy Crickets, this is the NBA finals, who in their right mind asks this type of question? Only Skip Bayless and ESPN that is who.

Take a damn lap ESPN and don’t come back ’till it’s football season.

That being said, you know damn well this series is going to 7 games. No way the NBA and Czar Stern lets the Spurs win in 6, no way. So as a coach, you might as well sit all your starters, because nothing positive is going to come out of playing them in a game 6 against Miami in the finals. The NBA is about as fake and transparent as the WWE.

-Gonzo