Tag Archive: Tiger Woods


Tiger Woods drives from Asia to Europe

Well isn’t this a spectacle. Does Tiger Woods own life, or does Tiger Woods own life? I mean few men in this world can just shut down one side of a trans-continental bridge, Tiger Woods is one of them. Incredible.

Couple things though. How about that hurricane gusts of wind?! What’s that like 70mph? 80? (Judging wind speed isn’t my strong point). Amazing his shot went straight, you put me out there and it hits one of the cars on the opposing side.

Imagine if he hit a car! Wouldn’t that be a sight to behold. Some angry little Asian /Turkish fella chasing down a black man in hurricane force winds. Scene sounds a little familiar, sans racial groups.

-Gonzo

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3 Year-Old Golf Prodigy?

Hey listen, do I think this is a cool video? Yes, do I think this kid is awesome? Yes. Do I think this kid deserves everyone under the sun to start calling him the next Tiger Woods? Absolutely not.

To be blunt, nothing this kid was exceptionally impressive. Is that being harsh? Probably, but life is harsh and some things deserve to be said. All the kid was doing was basically the same exact swing, every single time to the same exact target. Move the target no less than 3 inches either direction and he misses ever single time. That’s both fact and science. This little kid was simple using muscle memory every single shot, almost like a robot.

Fundamentally, his swing was atrocious. Feet were never planted. Swung like Happy Gilmore. Swung with his body and not his hips. All around F- on the basic fundamentals.

So while impressive to a certain extent, no way does it deserve the attention it’s getting*. If that is going to make me a bad parent in the future, then I guess I’m going to be a bad parent.

*I’m extremely jealous that this kid has a better short game than me…

-Gonzo

1394324_625502360829857_2036974689_nWhat a fucking shit show! Love it though, how can you not love this picture. Hall of Fame snapshot right here. Probably even Pulitzer Prize winning photograph actually.

First, you have both Tiger and Freddy who are clearly in that ‘happy’ phase right now. Not a care in the world. Tiger is probably thinking about pissing on stripers or some crazy shit ala R-Kelly style.

Dufner resembles the type of guy who enjoys just sitting in a corner somewhere, sipping his 6th whisky straight on the rocks and just laughing at the other guys who can’t handle their booze.

Keegan is being Keegan. Probably thinks that Cup is a ferret skin hat and is trying to channel is inner Vermonter.

And then we have Phil. Phil ol’ boy is 10000% in that stage where you are desperately trying to stop the room from spinning. Just holding on for dear life as he spins into abyss.

‘Merica

-Gonzo

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Love it! That’s what captains are there fore, when shit needs to be done, nothing should be able to break your concentration. Not even a rabid squirrel. Davis Love III just pulling the Moses of the golf world. That’s also what separates the US from the rest of the world. Fact

-Gonzo

tiger-woods-high-fivejeff

If you don’t like Tiger Woods, then GTFO. Tiger Woods is to golf, as H2O is to human existence. He’s the fucking man, case in point.

-Gonzo

So the question on everyone’s mind for the last couple of years, is Tiger gonna break Nicklaus’ record? Well I am here to tell you. Not only will Tiger break the record, but he will set the new record at 20.  You heard it here first, he will win 20 majors when all is said and done, no doubt in my mind.

Yes, he is getting older and yes, he seems to be getting hurt a lot more this year, even though that is all true. Yet even on a hurt back at the Barclays, he was 2 inches away from a playoff with Adam Scott to win it.

Do you guys remember the 2008 U.S Open? Ya the guy won a broken leg.  He has dealt with injury’s before, he knows how to win with them.  Also it’s only been one year that he has been injured, if he was to have these a couple of years like this in a row I would be worried, but even so he has won 5 tournaments this year.

For fuck sake get off the mans dick, there have already been too many people on it. #zinger

-The Black Pearl

Just letting everyone know how my picks were doing, Tiger woods, Phil Mickelson, and Jordan Spieth are all tied at -2 three behind the leader, Ernie Els is at +3 and Helen Kell…… I mean Rory Mcilroy is at +8.  So not off to a bad start, but I will keep you guys all up to date since you obviously wanna know.

-The Black Pearl

The British Open Picks

The British Open, what is there to say.  It is the oldest and most historic golf tournament in the world.  It presents a whole new world of what golf courses look and play like, compared to the normal course over here in the states.

So like I did before I will start out with two contenders that have a good shot at winning it.

Rory Mcilroy :  Yes I know that he has struggled as of late and that I wrote him off in my picks for the U.S Open, but this is different this is the British Open.  These are the courses he grew up playing so if he has any chance to win a major this year this is the one.

Tiger Woods:  Yes I know I must be crazy for not picking tiger, but come on I can’t pick him for every tournament or else I would be like every other dumb golf fan.  But let’s be honest if you don’t either pick tiger to win or at least have him as being one of your favorites you are dumb… Any who what else can I say he’s tiger he is godly and yes he struggled here in 02′ but still he is playing great this year regardless of the last major.

Now here are some guys who will be flying under the radar but still have a good shot at winning it all.

Jordan Spieth- Yes I know he is 19, and yes I know he just won his first tournament, but this kid is good.  A lot of confidence in his game, and just a silky smooth swing.  Seems like a great guy and winning that last tournament should give a lot of confidence to win a big tournament.

Ernie Els- Last time the open was at murfield he won, he won last years open too.  Also his nickname is the big easy… ya that’s all you need to know.

Can I get a drum roll please….. no ok well here is my pick to win the open.

Phil Mickelson –  No I don’t like Phil and yes I am picking him.  One because he just barley won the Scottish open and also hes played really well in every major.  Also with how he lost the last major he is due.

Well let us know your picks would love to hear it.

-The Black Pearl

RoryBendsClub_originalI agree with his assertion that Merion was a frustrating course, no question about that and like humans that we are, we eventually have to release some of that built up frustration and anger and sometimes that means attempting to snap your 9 iron in half. Happens to the best of us.

That being said, I feel like if you are going to attempt to snap your club in half on live TV, then I think you have to actually snap it in half, no half fasting it, right? I don’t care how long it takes to snap it in half, you have to fully commit to the challenge, going 50% is no bueno in my book. If you are a quitter when it comes to snapping your club, then you are going to be a quitter on the course as well. Never leave anything in the gas tank, 110% effort all the time, no excuses.

I’d be more embarrassed that I couldn’t snap a club in half, brutal. McIlroy, pull your shit together man!

-Gonzo

Not going to lie, I got a good chuckle out of this. Is this the right time and place for such a joke? No, probably not, but regardless, I still thought it was humorous. Just proves, that even when Tiger is not around you, he is still technically around you, because golf is to Tiger as Tiger is to golf. So moral of the story, never get into a war of words with Tiger Woods, otherwise people will start yelling Fried Chicken at you, when you are about to tee off.

-Gonzo