Is Tigers Body Up To The Challenge?

So the question on everyone’s mind for the last couple of years, is Tiger gonna break Nicklaus’ record? Well I am here to tell you. Not only will Tiger break the record, but he will set the new record at 20.  You heard it here first, he will win 20 majors when all is said and done, no doubt in my mind.

Yes, he is getting older and yes, he seems to be getting hurt a lot more this year, even though that is all true. Yet even on a hurt back at the Barclays, he was 2 inches away from a playoff with Adam Scott to win it.

Do you guys remember the 2008 U.S Open? Ya the guy won a broken leg.  He has dealt with injury’s before, he knows how to win with them.  Also it’s only been one year that he has been injured, if he was to have these a couple of years like this in a row I would be worried, but even so he has won 5 tournaments this year.

For fuck sake get off the mans dick, there have already been too many people on it. #zinger

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-The Black Pearl

Bill Horschel Is Killing the Octopus Pants Game

10! Straight 10! Love the his pants game, so much swag with these octopus pants, I almost can’t take it. Maybe this is why my golf game is unbearable to watch most of the time, scratch that, all the time. It’s because I don’t have a pair of these octopi pants, how stupid of me. Clean it up Gonzo. Huge question here, do those octopi glow in the dark? They look like they do, that would be super impressive, not going to lie.

No comment on the mirror pic selfie…

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-Gonzo

Picks for the U.S Open at Merion

It’s the time of year again U.S Open time.  Where dreams of amateurs and pro’s alike can come true.  This tournament can be won by anyone, from a seasoned veteran to a no name amateur they are all in the realm is possibilities, even if possibility is less than others there is still a chance…

So to get down to the nitty gritty, you ask The Black Pearl who is going to win?  Well since this is my first time publicly  saying my picks I can tell you I have never been wrong, ever.

First off I will start with some contenders that should be on everyone’s grid.

Steve Stricker- This guy has probably one of the smoothest swings on the tour, his putting and ball striking is through the roof.  Since Merion is a ball strikers course  so he sets up really to put in a charge for a chance to win it.  Yes he is old and was suppose to be semi retired this year but he has already played in six events this year, I think fatigue might be a factor for him but he is a willy veteran and knows how to cope.  At least he will place in the top 10 but don’t be surprised to seem him floating around the top of the leader board on Sunday.

Brandt Snedeker- He was definitely was one of the hottest players starting the 2013 PGA tour season, placing in the top 5 in four of the first five tournaments and winning the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro AM.  Then a back injury sidelined him for a little while and he has struggled ever since, but he is too good of a player to be held back for long and a ripe Merion is just want Snedeker needs to get back in the winners circle.

Here are some dark horses that might take a run at it on Sunday…. oh and by the way, am I the only one that thinks that saying is racist “dark horse” why can’t it be a white horse or a yellow horse or a tangerine horse, I for one am not buying it, but its too catchy not to use.

Matt Kuchar-  For one I don’t understand how he is not expected to contend for this major, I mean come on this man is muy en fuego.  He is one of the few muti-winners this season and just barley won the memorial which is giving him good gu gu coming into the Open.  Of all the major less guys on the PGA tour no one else deserves to win it as much as Matt, easily one of the most likable guys on the Tour.  My friend was telling me a story of how his friends parents owns a house on one of the TPC courses, and the house next to where they live they rent out to Tour Players.  Kuchar was staying at the house at one point and actually invited them over to play wiffle ball with his family.  Seriously one of my favorite players on tour and would love to see him win.

Keegan Bradley-   He’s had a very up and down year, he has had a chance to win and blew up, but he is a major winner and he is from Vermont so I got to pick him.  You don’t like it.. then bite me, I like the way he plays even though he has one of the weirdest pre shot routines in golf, and also gives the ball the stink eye when he putts.   But he is 10th in scoring avg and 16th in birdies avg, yes his GIR and FIR aren’t great but I believe in him and you should too.

Now the grand finale my pick to win the U.S Open and if you haven’t guessed who it is, you are dumb….

Tiger Woods- What a surprise tiger is my pick to win just like everyone else in the world.  Lets be honest how can you not pick him with the stuff hes done this year, he has won 4 tournaments this year, one being the players where he has struggled at for a loooonggg time.   He would of also been in contention in the Masters if that douche watching the TV wouldn’t of called in, come on man get a life.  If he keeps putting the way he is (besides Memorial), and striking the ball well he will cruise past everyone and take a giant dump on this course and make it his bitch, end of story.

Oh and why didn’t I put Rory Mcilroy into the mix you ask? Because he is playing like dog shit and doesn’t deserve it, maybe he will prove me wrong but have I ever been wrong… no no I haven’t.

-The Black  Pearl

Which Major would you choose to win?

So lets take the dream of any golf hacker and give them the choice of the four majors which one would they want to win.

For the people who don’t know the four majors are (in no particular order) The British Open, The Masters, The U.S Open, and the PGA Championship.

For me it is hard to pick just one.  But if I had to choose I would pick the PGA Championship….  Before anyone gets there panties in a bunch let me explain myself

If you win the PGA Championship these are the following privileges besides the cool $1,445,000…PGA champions are automatically invited to play in the other three majors (Masters, U.S Open, and the Open Championship) for the next five years, and are exempt from qualifying for the PGA Championship for life. They also receive membership on the PGA and European Tours for the following five seasons and invitations to The Players Championship for five years.

Uhhhhh knowing all that its a pretty easy choice, I know most people will say other wise because they would much rather have the prestige of the other Majors.  But I would get 5 years to fuck around on the PGA Tour and not have it matter how I do, that my friend is worth more than all the money in the world.  Its pretty much the same life John Daly has now.

I kid I love John Daly, he also has the most unreal mullet when he was younger.

But that’s enough from me, followers whats your thoughts what Major Golf Tournament would you want to win and why?

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-The Black Pearl

Lets play a game racist or not racist

So if you haven’t heard the recent drama between Sergio Garcia and Tiger Woods you must live under a rock, or a large boulder.

At a tour function just outside of London Sergio was asked about having dinner with Tiger at the U.S Open, in which he replied “We’ll have him ’round every night. We will serve fried chicken.”  Are you kidding me…? Like how could he possibly think that was a good idea to say that.  I know I wouldn’t want to just make fun of the guy who just spanked me like a new born baby in the last tournament he played in.

Furthermore, when he finally had time to think about what he said he apologized by saying “I apologize for any offense that may have been caused by my comment on stage during the European Tour Players’ Awards dinner,” Garcia said. “I answered a question that was clearly made towards me as a joke with a silly remark, but in no way was the comment meant in a racist manner.”  A silly remark?  You are a professional athlete saying racist comments, you can’t jokingly say that shit.

Yes you can see in his remarks he is sorry.

Still though, sorry isn’t going to cut it, you can’t say these things no matter what.  This probably makes Sergio on the top of my list of golfers I hate.  Not just because of the comments he makes, but as Tiger knows, he is the biggest whiner on the tour.  Does anyone remember this?

How can you say you don’t like August National.  Do I need Tigers ex wife to hit you upside the head with a 9 iron.  Some of the stuff he says, are the dumbest things I have ever heard.  I wish Sergio could play a round with Happy Gilmore, just so he could beat the shit out of him… ya jackass.

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-The Black Pearl